I'm always in a million minds about everything...I crave simplicity.
I crave adventure.
I want to live frugally.
I feel like going shopping.
I love Montessori.
I wish I could turn off the Montessori obsession.
I am so happy with our Waldorf school.
I lay awake at night wondering if we've made a mistake.
I commit to making wholesome food for my family.
Lets eat takeaway fish & chips tonight.
I want Lovely to stay home with me.
I crave these moments of time for myself.
I want to challenge myself creatively.
I'm scared.
I want to take the full Montessori training.
I want to be a designer again.
I am a good Montessori mama.
Is it meant to be so damn hard?
There are so many good books I want to read.
I just need to collapse in front of the t.v. tonight.
I want to detail clean every surface in the house.
I find myself at the computer again.
I love my children with an intense passion.
I'm sorry I was cross with you.
I wish we were homeschoolers.
I'm so happy that you love school.
I wish our garden was full of flowers.
I don't wanna garden today.
I love creating extravagant birthday parties.
Maybe birthdays should be small & intimate.
I need to lose 5 kilos.
The '4 nuts and zabaglione' cake.
I believe in following the child.
No. you must. now. because.
I love my husband.
I am irritable and thoughtless.
I want to escape.
I've never been happier in my life.
I don't think I can do this.
If only I could always see how easy it is.
Phew! This is a work in progress... more to come I'm sure.
How do you balance all of these voices? I'm sure I'm not the only one...
Did you just read my mind?
ReplyDeleteWow, I was just thinking the same thing!
Oh my. I think the same way all the time. Especially, when it comes to education... many times doing the right things is hard. It causes so many questions. Sometimes I think I'm just one big bowl of paradox. But then I remind myself that questioning is GOOD, and means that I am a caring, thoughtful, HUMAN :)
ReplyDeleteDefinitely not the only one to think like that....it's the human nature of a woman I think
ReplyDeleteI love this post. That is the way I feel 24/7. You wrote it so beautifully. I wrestle with these feelings all the time.
ReplyDeleteYep. Sounds way,way too familiar.
ReplyDeleteoh, yes. every day. how do I balance? ack. not particularly well, I'm afraid. just today I was thinking:
ReplyDeleteI would like to have a clean house;
I'm too lazy to actually clean it.
Well, I have laughed loudly while reading this post! Sounds so familiar. How do I balance? Usually, I guess I am finding something in between. Or just let these voices have a little girl talk among themselves, while I am out to do.. whatever feels right at this exact moment..:) I didn't know you are a designer! Did you know that you are a very beautiful women??? :)
ReplyDeleteLovely post! I feel like that too, actually I was thinking this week 'Do I really want to teach next year!' But then I remember the reasons why I do all these things. My Montessori obsession is way to big, I have more materials than clothes!!! It's been going on for way to long for me. Some days I wish I could flick the switch off, but then I find some material or some great idea that flicks it back on again. Good luck with getting the balance!!!
ReplyDeleteHa ha! Fabulous and oh so familiar. I think its just the way it is...and as much as it sometimes sucks its the diversity of life, thoughts and experience. Better all the up and down balancing than being too fixed and overly zealous. Well, that is my excuse anyway. xx
ReplyDeleteOooo... somehow you've gotten into my head. I guess it's what keeps us going - and interesting!
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting on my blog -- and for leaving this link. I love it. I live it. :)
ReplyDeleteYour blog is sweet. I dig the dolls you found at the thrift store!
Blessings,
Stacy
This sounds just about right!
ReplyDelete