It's days like this when I wonder if homeschooling is really for us.
I spent the weekend, away, with my best friend and her family. Away from my family. I missed them very much but I also cherished the opportunity for time to myself and time to reflect.
Now that I'm home and it's Monday morning I am feeling a bit unsettled. Sorry for myself even (the city was fun!) but maybe even more sorry for my boys. While I was away I helped to collect my friend's kids from school. And I guess I saw the 'shiny/good/fun side' of school. You know, the big gaggle of kids mucking around together and having a laugh. Don't even get me started on the resources.
And here we are.
Just the 3 of us.
And maybe I can't really remember how we ended up here or, more to the point, WHY.
It also doesn't help that I'm tired and trying to - post detox and then a big weekend - continue to cut out most of my regular go-to crutches: caffeine, sugar, carbs. Sigh.
These days are HARD.
I know it's true that these days pass. But they are still hard while they're here.
So, why are we on this path?
The reality is that we are homeschooling.
And I know that won't change in the next year. The reality is that I made a huge commitment and that I do have to work out how to get through these feelings. That I did choose this life. That it's true that I'm not enough but that I already knew that. And that I know I would find it hard to walk away from what we have.
It's time for a new plans I guess. A bit of a rethink.
Do you ever feel this way? x